Straight forward. Pure. Totally honest. That’s what people say it takes to make a healthy relationship. I was worried that without the thin veil of seduction, the overly generous compliment, the sweet (though maybe not sincere) review of the expensive dinner he took me to, there would be trouble. But he was adamant. Bare. Naked. Truth.
The text I receive: What are you wearing?
And I don’t want to answer… It is clear he wants me to be honest, but what’s wrong with texting something a little sexier, a little nicer, a little more alluring? What’s the harm with planting the seed of something hot? A white lie with some lace around the edges? I take him at his word though….
Me: Tank top, sweatpants, and Tootsie Roll socks.
Him: Send me a picture.
And that’s it. Apparently I’m super sexy in lounging around gear. That’s the beginning of my understanding that being honest – 100% truthful – even when it isn’t what I think of as tempting is the way I’m going to play it this time around.
And it isn’t easy.
Sometimes I want to be nice. It’s easier to say that he looks good when he is wearing that beaten up, worn out, faded T-shirt that he likes from high school when we have to walk out the door in five minutes. But he asks me and I have to be honest- I don’t like the shirt. “Why?” And I tell him. I don’t accuse him of having bad taste, I don’t make it a huge deal, but now he knows.
And now he wears it when he goes out with his friends and he makes a point not to wear it when he goes out with me.
At the moment we are on a raw diet, we have been for a few weeks, and I feel like it’s just another step in the same direction. There aren’t any ingredients hiding. We’re not eating anything with Yellow #5, Blue #1 or Red #40. Nor are we putting into our mouths anything ending in “–phosphate” or beginning with “poly-,” “mono-,” or “di-.” The food that’s in our food is actually food- real, honest, no-preservatives-added food. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not making the switch for forever, mind you, but this honesty in our eating feels just as good as it does in the rest of life.
Sure there are things that are super tempting that I wish I could eat at the moment (that eggplant parmesan looks INCREDIBLE) just as there are times I wish he would say, “This is the most amazing I’ve ever seen you look.” But we feel really good on it and when I’m finally able to dig into a pile of steaming dumplings, twirls of pasta resting under a heavy snowfall of parmesan, or an oozing chocolate lava cake with melting ice cream pooling around it…. Well that’ll feel good too.
So when texts me: What are you wearing?
And I text back: Black see-through lingerie, garter belt, stockings, heels.
I can expect him home for dinner a little early.